As For Me and My House: Crafting Your Marriage To Last Walter Wangerin (Nelson) A very moving book laden with stories—some funny, some heartbreaking, all illustrating the importance of communication and forgiveness in a Christ-centered marriage. Powerful and enjoyable.

Each for the Other: Marriage as it’s Meant to Be Bryan Chapell (Baker)
Finally out in paperback, Chapell is a great communicator, well known as the president of Covenant Theological Seminary (PCA.) This really is a marvelous treatment, combining solid Biblical teaching and practical instruction. There is a chapter just for husbands, another just for wives, but most of it is essential reading for all.

Falling into Love: How the Average Guy Got the Girl of His Dreams Ned Erickson (Relevant Books) A young a hip story of a romance and marriage. This isn’t as made-in-heaven glory story, but it isn’t a tragic story of break-up and heartache, either. It is just a funny, ordinary, goofy memoir of a real couple, who really found God’s help to stick together through thick, thin and all manner of weirdness. Not the most inspirational theological work, but it is solid, Christian discipleship, making do, in Christ, with our real-world selves. Thanks be for fun books like this.

Faith Tango: A Liberating Approach to Spiritual Growth in Marriage Carolyn & Craig Williford (Waterbrook) We certainly don’t mean to suggest that praying together or sharing a devotional life isn’t helpful, but these authors believe that many suffer from unnecessary guilt or frustration about failed attempts to do these activities with their spouse. They offer an alternative to traditional practices, inviting a pattern of spiritual growth that really works.

The Five Love Languages: How To Express Heartfelt Commitment To Your Mate Gary Chapman (Moody) The sheer popularity of this indicates that it has touched a great nerve and met a real need. Chapman shows how different folks are “wired” to hear differently, and communication styles must match the needs of the listener. Very, very practical, insisting that good and effective communication is essential to really “speak the same language” and deeply express love, not just in words, but in appropriate actions.

For Men Only: A Straightforward Guide to the Inner Lives of Women Shaunti Feldhahn and Jeff Feldhahn (Multnomah) The authors use their Christian beliefs and the results of a survey to explain that women need security, approval, and consistent emotional connection–all of which are often frustrated by men’s obsessions with logic and competition, as well as their need for regular periods of isolation. The production is a handy guide for understanding women, rather than a theological lesson or a resource for troubled marriages. Bible quotes and mental health prescriptions are minimized in favor of practical insights and advice.

For Women Only: What You Need to Know about the Inner Lives of Men Shaunti Feldhahn (Multnomah) Feldhahn takes you beneath the surface into the inner lives of men. For Women Only is about the things we just don’t “get” about guys. With findings from a national survey and personal interviews of over one thousand men, Feldhahn presents eye-opening revelations you need not only to understand the man in your life, but to support and love him in the way he needs to be loved.

Gender & Grace: Love, Work & Parenting in a Changing World Mary Stewart Van Leeuwen (IVP) Although not everyone will agree with this serious Christian scholar’s call to Biblical equality between men and women, her offering a Biblical framework for thinking about gender roles makes this an essential book to know and ponder.

Intimate Allies Dan Allender & Tremper Longman (Tyndale) Rediscovering God’s design for marriage and becoming soul mates for life, by exploring case studies of real couples and what they learned by revisiting God’s intentions as spelled out in the first chapters of Genesis. Very helpful.

The Intimate Mystery: Creating Strength and Beauty in Your Marriage Dan Allender & Tremper Longman (IVP) A handsome, slim hardcover, this is a very readable and insightful study. You can also purchase a DVD to watch alongside the book, and a series of seven different small group (or couples) study guides around different topics from forgiveness to sexual intimacy, dreams and expectations to gender roles.

Just Don’t Marry One: Interracial Dating, Marriage and Parenting edited by George Yancey (Judson) A rare and realistic look, written by a variety of racially diverse Christians as they share their experiences and faith and recommendations for effective interracial marriage and family.

The Love List Les and Leslie Parrott (Zondervan) This is very cool: something that they recommend you do as a couple once a year; something once a month; something once a week; something once a day. I hate easily 1-2-3-step plans, but this is just too nice not to mention. Delightful and, frankly, pretty smart.

Marriage: Just a Piece of Paper? edited by Katherine Anderson, Don Browning, Brian Boyer (Eerdmans) This remarkable companion to a PBS documentary last year (hosted by Cokie Roberts) has the narratives of interviewees talking about their lives and loves; theologians and social sciences add insight about the erosion of meaning in our frayed culture and how strong marriages are not only the concern of the far religious right. In this book are gripping real live stories of real life Americans of a vast array of races, settings, values and opinions, woven into a very strong resource.

Marriage Made in Eden: A Pre-Modern Perspective for a Post-Christian World Alice Mathews and M. Gay Hubbard (Baker) The subtitle shows that these authors are savvy about culture and the deeper worldview issues that frame our understandings. It is a profoundly Biblical book, very thoughtful and multi-faceted. Excellent.

The Mystery of Marriage: Meditations on the Miracle Mike Mason (Multnomah) This twentieth anniversary paperback is a glorious example of what it means not just to give people self-help advice, but to offer a deep and contemplative reflection on the spiritual meaning of our marriages. Mason was quite content being a solitary guy, rather deep and contemplative (almost like a monk!). Still, he was called to marriage, and he wrote this wondrous, reflective meditation on the deeper meaning of it all. Sweet. Well-written and a lovely example of the spirituality of the ordinary.

Real Love for Real Life: The Art and Work of Caring Andi Ashworth (Shaw) Not exactly on marriage, but on crafting a home based on beauty, service and care-giving. Very, very insightful and a good edition to anyone’s library.

The Sacred Marriage and Devotions for the Sacred Marriage Gary Thomas (Zondervan) Gary is a fine writer, a prayerful contemplative, but not quite as mysterious as Mason (see above.) He tells wonderful stories, makes practical suggestions, but is always rooted in a deep awareness of the call to holiness and spirituality in marriage. The book is superb; the devotional includes a year’s worth of new material, more stories, and wise meditations on Scripture. See also his similarly done Sacred Parenting and Devotions for Sacred Parenting.

Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts Les & Leslie Parrott (Zondervan)
This is perfect not only for pre-marital folks but for anybody in their first few years of marriage. Exceptionally practical, really clear psychological principles, good inventories to help you know yourself, your style of relating, etc. There is a workbook just for men, another just for wives. Nice but it isn’t terribly Biblical or theological.

Love and Respect Emmerson Eggerich (Thomas Nelson) Based upon Ephesians 5:33 and extensive biblical and psychological research, Dr. Emerson Eggerichs reveals the power of unconditional love and unconditional respect and how husbands and wives can reap the benefits of marriage that God intended.

To Become One Chris Seay & Chad Karger (Relevant) A hip, young book with this phrase on the cover: After “I Do” the real journey begins.” A very readable, relevant and insightful introduction that covers nearly every aspect of a marriage.

Thanks to Byron Borger of Hearts and Minds Bookstore in York, PA. These books were recommended on their website: heartsandmindsbooks.com (a website that should be visited often).